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Or you could provide each other your passwords, contact lists or the like — whatever it takes, in other words, to reestablish Total Transparency. Spinning your wheels at this point will only bog you down further.There is no such thing as "constructive criticism." There is only criticism, and people resent it.When one partner in a relationship isn't getting his or her way, the person often simply raises the topic again — and again and again and again. Imagine that something truly painful (say, an affair) has broken the trust that once existed between two people.Understandably, the injured party may be unable to resist citing the violation over and over.A study I did for my book The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples showed that compliments gradually decline over the life cycle of a relationship.
But when you have something truly important to say about your union, write it out beforehand, rather than relying on spur-of-the-moment eloquence.
So unless it's a life-and-death issue, keep to yourself your good ideas about how someone else should live.
It's one thing when your partner seeks your advice on a topic.
But does this get at the underlying cause of the breach?
Not even close; instead, it signals the other partner to stop listening.