w=400&h=300" srcset="https://ahmongwoman.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/100_4882.jpg? w=400&h=300 400w, https://ahmongwoman.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/100_4882.jpg? w=150&h=113 150w, https://ahmongwoman.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/100_4882.jpg? w=768&h=576 768w, https://ahmongwoman.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/100_4882800w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" / Before a wedding can take place, both clans have to agree on a bride price.
The bride price ranges from ,000 – ,000, depending on the worth of the bride (e.g., if she has no sisters, she is worth more; education level—sometimes this may lower or increase the bride price depending on the values of the family; her repuation).
(The word for “to get married” in Hmong means “to buy”).
Because the bride price carries such a bad connotation, some Hmong families today do not practice this tradition.
The girls—even if they were born in the US and are accustomed to American culture and laws—will abide by whatever their parents say because that is their culture and those are their parents.
Many times, the groom’s family will tell a kidnapped bride that if she calls the police, she will disgrace her family. The only time you should have sex is after marriage with your spouse).
Additionally, the bride price was an assurance for the bride’s family that the groom will treat her with respect.
The higher the bride price, the higher the value of a bride, the more her family expects her new husband to treat her well.
And if you had accepted a gift from him, society put the blame on you.
Here, in the US, he may tell the girl he wants to take her out and instead take her to his house.
In Asia, he may come to her house when her parents are not home and literally carry or drag her home with the help of male friends or relatives.
This symbolic elopement is to “prove” to the guy that she loves him enough to leave her family. This happens when a man has no respect for the female’s feelings and decides that even if she doesn’t want to marry him, he will force her to.
After the couple gets to the groom’s house, his family will send an envoy to the bride’s family to announce that their daughter is with them. Sometimes the man will give her a gift (refer to above) and not let his intentions be known.