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In a recent Woman's Hour programme on first date etiquette, spaghetti, oysters and lobster were just some of the foods described as deal breakers.Men were suspicious of women who ordered salad ("heavy interaction might take place with the fridge later on") or displayed overt greed ("if she flies at the food, she might fly at other things").Intuition and special situations will create forks in the road.And as time goes on, you’ll likely tweak some of these decisions.As I write this, I am feeling really bad about myself. I feel like there is no hope for anyone to care for let alone fall in love with me. Current clients – all female – include parole officers, psychotherapists and investment bankers (age range 30-70), who seek her advice on everything from how to spice up their internet profile to how to behave on a first date.Her approach, based on marketing techniques gleaned from years working in big corporations, isn't romantic, but she's convinced it works.

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I want you to have fun, be open to new things, and enjoy the experience; just do it consciously and like the grownup woman that you are. Well a few are still out there; they just have gray hair now.

"But once I'd restyled her," she says, "she was a goddess." The next hurdle is more tricky: how to avoid scaring men off.

"One problem is that women have to rely on male energy to get on in the world," Paula says.

I try my hardest to stay positive, to actually believe that the universe will bring my soul mate into my life.

I do work to better myself – mentally & physically, but I don’t see any results.

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