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I had ruled out dating, unable to imagine any man wanting to be with someone as sick as I was, even if he was sick, too. I felt vulnerable, strapped to the chair with my blood running into a machine, but I managed to say, “Hi.” That was it.Another morning, after my treatment, I started a conversation. Rebecca Machain Folsom, California was the magic number: if I hadn’t started dating by that age, I would be forever branded a reject. I wasn’t interested in any boys at my school, and though I had gotten my braces off and my gawky phase was behind me, I was brainy and a bit of a square.On our second date my fast-food Romeo and I went to the mall, where he bought me a phone of my own. April Tesoriero Paulden, Arizona I had an unrequited crush on a boy named Darren.I joined every club he belonged to and trembled when his knee brushed mine under the table, but we never dated.I sent her a message, and we exchanged phone numbers. When we talked again the next night, she was in another noisy location. After thirty minutes I checked my phone for a text or missed call: nothing. Once, I had woken up in the middle of the night feeling numb from the waist down. It sounds really loud.” She said she was at a pool hall, playing billiards.By August I had caught the eye of a co-worker who went to a different high school.When he phoned, I took the call on the line in my parents’ bedroom.

I don’t know if you remember me, but I was listening to Dire Straits and thought about you. I was also pining over a married man, who lived ninety miles away and assured me that he was “almost certainly” going to get divorced soon. I was able to relax and be myself because I still thought of it as just “practice.” J. Lexington, Kentucky as a lesbian in my early fifties, I met Winona at a women’s dance, and she invited me out for a drink.For ten years after graduation I pursued what any sane person could see were unavailable men: The college professor I slept with the summer of my sophomore year, who told me up front, “This won’t last, you know.” My good friend from graduate school, who would have been perfect for me were it not for the inconvenient fact that he was gay.A grad student I met at a party, who had just split up with his previous girlfriend and went back to her after a few weeks.A colleague in my department, who broke up with me almost immediately because — get this — we were “too much alike.” By my late twenties the number of weeks I had spent in relationships, in total, barely broke double digits. So I started answering personal ads in the newspaper. We went to a Mexican restaurant and talked about movies and music.I told him he needed to listen to the Dire Straits album to really appreciate it.

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